Love Notes

Inspired by Pinterest

2012-03-05T08:42:00.017-05:00

I've been trying to get back to my blogging and since I've been wanting to write a tribute to Pinterest for some time now, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to get back on board..Let me just come right out and say... I love pinterest. For me, Pinterest is like having a new magazine on any subject I choose every day. I love being able to post pictures into categories that I can browse later when I'm going to redo a bathroom or plan a themed party. It's so easily accessible and I love it. I've made lots of the recipes I've pinned. I've also made a lot of the DIY projects I've pinned. Here are a few examples

After seeing this,

www.centsationalgirl.com

I did this... this was a boring blonde oak staircase before...

After seeing this,

www.funkyjunkinteriors.blogspot.com

I made this, and put it above my pantry...

After seeing this,

I made this...

After seeing this,

www.beautifulnest.blogspot.com

I made this...

and this....

There are many more projects I've copied or taken inspiration from off of Pinterest.. maybe I will post a few more this week. As you can see, Pinterest inspires me and makes me happy.

Hilton Head 4 My Fam pics

2011-08-21T19:38:00.001-04:00

Hilton Head 3 Audra's Fam

2011-08-21T19:28:00.002-04:00

Hilton Head 2

2011-08-21T19:00:00.002-04:00

Hilton Head 2011

2011-08-21T18:39:00.003-04:00

I'm just getting pics up but will add details later...

Bella Z

2011-08-09T23:43:00.008-04:00

I'm still dying over these eyes. I'm still sorting photos, but these are a few of my favorites so far...

2011-07-31T21:21:00.005-04:00

So I came to this realization that there are like 5 photos of me with the children in the entire house and 4 of those I'm wearing my pj's on Christmas morning. So, my husband reluctantly agreed to snap a few shots this evening after dinner. Even with bribes of ice cream, my kids still didn't want to cooperate... even after I told them these could be the only photos they ever have of me. You'd think.. Even so, I'll still treasure these...not sure how many more times I'll be able to hold them like this...sigh

Ella, Audra, & Alex

2011-07-14T13:44:00.003-04:00

Aiden & Ashlyn

2011-07-13T11:52:00.004-04:00

My Sweet Mom & Dad

2011-07-04T21:42:00.004-04:00

A Day at the Creek

2011-03-23T20:50:00.006-04:00

I love little boys. I was so lucky that my brother and my nephew were able to spend the past week with us. My kids (all kids actually) adore my little brother Nick and I adore Kayden(his son). I promised my mom that I'd get a few photos of him before he left our house. Kayden, Hudson, and I headed out to the creek and I had a blast watching these two. They are two of the sweetest, cutest and funniest little guys ever. It is always a pleasure to spend time with these sweeties.

Alexandra's Spa Day Party

2011-03-20T16:48:00.003-04:00

It was a huge success. I think the girls really enjoyed their spa experience and the 2 hour timing was perfect. We did mud masks, chocolate facials, jelly foot baths, and manicures. And the girls got to make ice cream sugar scrubs, lava lip glosses, and their own scented lotions to take home.

My New Crush: Pinterest

2011-03-16T20:16:00.004-04:00

While it is completely true that I have a little crush on Justin Beiber after seeing his movie this past weekend, I'm not referring to that crush. I'm referring to the site that I can't stop talking about. I'm sure my girlfriends want me to shut up right about now. But seriously, www.pinterest.com is awesome. How many times have you been on a website and see an inspiring photograph? It might be ideas for how you want to redo your kitchen, inspiring photography poses, pretty flower arrangements, an outfit you want to save up for. All of these apply to me and I don't always want to add the site to "my favorites". I just want to remember the shot. With Pinterest, you can do that. You create boards of your favorite images - as many as you want and you can follow other people's boards if you like their style. I love it. And I've already received a lot of inspiration. These two signs I made after seeing very similar ones on Pinterest. The "Everyday I love you" sign sells for $200 - $500. I made my mine for $12 and that's only because I couldn't find our wood glue and had to buy a new bottle. Ahhh. I seriously love that site.

Baby Connor

2011-03-11T16:04:00.008-05:00

Sweet little Connor was so good today, but he didn't sleep a wink. He's hit that two week mark so he's awake more often now. I think we will try again after an afternoon nap and see if we can get some of those sleeping pics where we can position him in all different ways!

Ava

2011-03-09T15:43:00.004-05:00

I purchased a few new actions for photoshop and was dying to try them out. Hayley was kind enough to let me borrow Ava for about 20 minutes. Isn't she a doll? She is the happiest baby ever. I'm still not so great at indoor photos but a few of these turned out pretty darn cute!

Out with the Old

2011-03-07T11:55:00.002-05:00

The main reason I took up photography as a hobby is because I love being surrounded by photographs of my children and loved ones. It simply makes me happy. In our family room, we have a wall of black and white photos. I've had the same pictures in those frames since my oldest was 4. She is now almost 9. So as we were doing some Spring Cleaning this weekend, I got the urge to update and switch some of those photos out. When I get an urge, I can't think of anything else until that urge has been fulfilled. I spent several hours sorting through some photographs, trying to find them on the computer and changing them to black and white. Here are a few from the last several years that I just picked up from Costco.

La Maisonnette

2011-03-06T11:41:00.002-05:00

One day I'm going here. Can you imagine if this little cottage was your home? It fits right into one of the historical romance novels I love reading so much. I follow this blog www.steph-modo.com. Stephanie documents how she and her family purchased this cottage in the South of France (yes, that is it connected to the castle) and renovated it from top to bottom. Now they rent it out to anyone interested in being a part of this fairy tale for a week or two. I keep telling my husband that at some point in the near future, I'm going to take a girlfriend trip to France. I've been dying to go to the flea markets there. I think this would be the perfect spot to start my journey.

Ekster Antiques Barn Sale

2011-03-04T15:19:00.008-05:00

all photos courtesy of www.eksterantiques.com

I love this sale. Caroline Verschoor holds this sale in her barn a few times a year. It is very crowded (people come from far and wide) but so worth it. She goes to Europe and sends back furniture and accessories that she sells at these events. Drool.... that's what I do when I'm there.... large library cabinets and linen chairs, window pane mirrors, huge farm tables. She has a real knack for setting everything up perfectly so you can imagine it in your own home and WANT it in your own home. The first photo shows a few items at the sale. The 2nd two photos show the inside of Caroline's house - I want that kitchen. Love it!

KODA'S NEW FRIEND

2011-03-04T08:44:00.002-05:00

Koda has a new buddy. As sad as we were to see Spencer's passing, he is excited to have a new puppy in the neighborhood. Meet Bella. Isn't she adorable? It's hard to believe she had to be rescued. Who couldn't love this little face?

Silhouettes

2011-02-23T16:21:00.005-05:00

Even though we had a snow day just yesterday, my mind is in "Spring" mode. My decorating is already heading in that direction as well. I'm loving silhouettes right now. Actually, I've always loved them and have several of my children. Two are hanging in the dining room today. But this morning I decided to do some quick and easy "cheater" silhouettes for my mantel and other random spaces to help usher in Spring. I simply googled "silhouette" and found some that I liked, printed them off, cut them out, painted them black and adhered them to some pretty scrapbook paper. Charming I think. The little boy and girl in the water look just like my daughter and son so it is my favorite!

Favorite Places Subway Art

2011-02-20T15:18:00.002-05:00

I've been following a bunch of different blogs where they have made these subway signs. I knew I wanted to make one, but there are so many different methods I wasn't sure which method to try. I decided that if it my favorite places subway art came out, I would make a huge one and pay a little more attention to lining everything up. I actually loved how it turned out and as tedious as this was, I only wish that I had paid more attention to lining it up with this one because I'm not sure how quickly I'm going to start another. Can you see the letters going downhill a bit ( a lot)? Oh well, I'm still going to build a frame around this and hang it up somewhere - maybe in my laundry room where I'll be the only one looking at it.

I used the contact paper method. I bought plywood at Home Depot for $5. I spray painted it white, and then because I don't have cricut or silhouette, I printed the letters in word and then cut them out by hand. I then adhered them to contact paper and cut them out again before putting them on the board. The cutting is what takes forever. Once I had them all on the board, I spray painted the board black. When that was dry, I just needed to pull off the contact paper letters and this is the result. I sanded it down because I wanted it to look old.

2010-07-06T09:58:00.000-04:00

2010-06-23T12:01:00.000-04:00

2 Feet and Still Coming....

2010-02-06T15:01:00.000-05:00

So apparently we've matched a 1904 record. That is, they haven't seen so much snow in the DC area since 1904. Can you imagine? And it hasn't stopped snowing yet. If we get about 5 more inches, we are supposed to beat any record that they've ever had in this area. They think we'll have over 30 inches when all is said in done here. Wowzers! When we had our big 2 foot storm before Christmas, I never in a million years imagined we could get another big storm like this - not this year at least. It is gorgeous outside, but it is almost too much snow to enjoy outdoors. I got in my snow gear from head to toe and attempted to take Koda out and couldn't make it across the street... literally. So, he hopped around the snow himself. Koda loves the snow but even he looked tired after a while. (3rd picture shows him in our front yard in a position he stayed in for quite some time ) The kids have gone out several times as well, but they haven't lasted too long. Poor Andrew was panting by the time he made it home from a neighbor's house just next door. Within 10 minutes of being outside, he and his friends said they were ready to come in.

I do enjoy the family time though -- everyone stuck home together in our warm, cozy home sipping hot chocolate and playing games and reading. I wonder if I'll still be saying that next week. The kids were already off 3 days last week and now they've already cancelled school for at least the beginning of next week. We'll see I guess...

The first picture is a view of our cul de sac from our house, and the last picture is looking onto our deck in the back.

PS - you'd think that the snow would have helped my shopping, locking me into the house. But Ebay has become such a good friend lately. When I sell, I can't help but just look??? But I've found a few fabulous deals on a few too many purses and boots :) and now I'm ready to get back in gear!

I'm Back

2010-01-05T12:47:00.000-05:00

I've had a really hard time getting back to my blog. My computer crashed ages ago and a lot of my programs didn't transfer over. Thus, my photography outlet has suffered the most. I don't have the same photo software at the moment so I've struggled with even attempting to download my shots. I haven't had the frame of mind necessary to master a new program just yet. I did manage to take my annual Christmas card photos while visiting my folks over Thanksgiving, but that's about the extent of it for now. So, since I haven't been spending time taking pictures recently, I've really re-found my love of reading. In the past 6 months, I've probably read 50 books easily. I'm a quick reader and have the problem of not being able to stop reading deep into the night if I get into a book that I like. That seems to happen more and more often these days. I have an idea for a book myself actually and may attempt to put it down on paper if I get adventurous enough this year.

Felicity

2009-09-27T21:59:00.001-04:00

Alexandra loves American Girl Dolls and she is fascinated with history right now. She has been studying (on her own I might add) life in the Colonial Days and has also been reading the Felicity series. This is her Halloween Costume :) I'm so behind on this blog. My computer crashed weeks ago and I don't have any photo software. Ughhhh --- In any case, first day of school pics are coming next!

Outer Banks 2009

2009-07-26T14:25:00.000-04:00

Saturday

2009-06-13T19:19:00.000-04:00

Koda had his trial run at a kennel today. I believe this kennel is very particular about who they allow to stay there. They don't allow any aggressive dogs and they don't want barking dogs so they tell you that they'd like you to come for a complimentary stay before they let you know if there is any summer space available. The kennel is nestled at the foot of the mountains at an old horse farm. It is quite cozy and pleasant -- canine classical music is even played 24 hours a day. It is different than a lot of kennels I think because the dogs are grouped by size and they let the dogs spend much of the day playing together outside. The owners tire the dogs out so that they sleep well and are not sad or stressed. I liked what I saw. I'm a bit nervous since Koda tends to eat everything in site including sticks, rocks, and grass, but I'm hoping he will be distracted enough by the other dogs during his longer stay that dietary factors will not be compromised.

I especially loved the HUGE newfoundland that greets each arrival. It is the proprietor's dog. This is the first dog (other than our own dog) that I've seen Alexandra bond with immediately. As big as she was, she wasn't scared at all. She didn't want to leave. I believe she would have taken Della home with us if she could. Koda seemed pretty fond of her as well. Fortunately, he seems to have passed the test today and we are welcome to drop off Koda when we go to the beach in July. Whew!!

Return to the Blog

2009-05-30T20:39:00.000-04:00

When I was a kid, I took piano for quite a few years. However, I only attended one piano recital. When I get nervous, even now, my hands shake. I can't control it. I can talk very authoritively with my voice - I even did oratory competitions in high school, but if you are/were to catch a glimpse of my hands on those occasions, my nerves would be revealed. So, it is a little difficult to play a piano piece when your fingers are shaking all over the keys. That one piano recital is a very bad memory even now. I don't think I could even finish the piece.

Alexandra had her first recital last night at a music hall not far from our home. Lately, I've been noticing so many similarities in personality traits and characteristics between Alex and me -- not are all traits I'm fond of. David has mentioned on more than one occasion that she hurries through everything, has very little patience, and becomes discouraged when after hurrying through it, it doesn't turn out as expected. Yuck! Happily, I can say that the shaky hands so far doesn't seem to be a trait that she has inherited from me. She did superb last night. Only her facial expressions revealed to me that she was just a teeny bit nervous.

I can also happily report that Koda seems to finally be improving (please knock on wood). Things got so bad at one point that we actually contacted the Golden Retriever Rescue Foundation because we weren't sure that we were going to be able to keep him due to the medical expenses, but he seems to have taken a turn for the better and we love him dearly. We have him on a strict diet and never let him wander anywhere now without a leash. Unfortunately, he seems to enjoy sticks and rocks and just about any other thing he finds outside. I don't think these snacks cause all his digestive problems, but I'm sure they contribute to it. Even when left alone in the house for a few minutes, he apparently eats socks and scarves. I only know this because we found 2 socks and a scarf at the other end last week. We are just thankful they didn't get stuck in there. We are just hoping now that we can get to a point where we can leave him over night. We've been pretty much confined to the house since Christmas since he was too sick to get his vaccinations and couldn't really be left at a kennel. We are very very grateful for the progess.

2009-04-26T21:40:00.000-04:00

Mood Improved

2009-04-09T18:52:00.001-04:00

The women I bought these outfits from on Etsy asked if they could use the pictures from Alexandra's birthday on their site. I wasn't too impressed with the birthday pictures since it was a gloomy day, so I offered to retake them! We took these in the backyard this evening. I was in such a miserable mood all day. These put a little smile on my face :)I know my few friends that read my blog are probably tired of seeing Alexandra's face, but since she is my only willing subject (and even she needs to be bribed with ice cream), she'll probably grace many more entries. Hopefully with warmer weather upon us, I'll be able to actually get Andrew's face in a few as well!

Spring Break Plans

2009-04-05T19:16:00.000-04:00

The kids have Spring Break this week. We usually try to venture out somewhere, but with Koda's arrival, we have to stay home this year. So we have decided to spend our week, planting flowers and a new garden. We have a long section on the side of the house that gets full sun and nothing seems to live over there - did I mention that I didn't inherit my mom's green thumb? However, I've decided to give it another shot this year. We are going to plant lavender and herbs and I have all these visions of vegetable pots and wild flowers.... I did inherit a good imagination.

In any case, we spent part of the weekend at the Botanical Gardens nearby. Alexandra is taking this gardening project seriously. She came with notebook in hand, ready to write down all the flowers she intended to plant. Unfortunately, there still isn't much in bloom here. You wouldn't know it with how crowded the gardens were, but I guess we should make sure there aren't any more freezes headed our way, before we start digging...

So much to catch up on.....

2009-04-02T21:00:00.001-04:00

When Spring rolls around, so do the kid's birthdays. This is the first year I didn't plan a big party for each child at home. Alexandra really wanted to go to New York to experience a complete American Girl Day at the store there. We weren't able to get to New York this year, but how convenient and lucky for us, that the annual American Girl Fashion Show took place 10 minutes away on the weekend of Alexandra's birthday. I've never been and wasn't sure what to expect, but I was very pleased. Alexandra was able to choose just a few friends and they each dressed up with their dolls and we attended the show. The show took place in the ballroom at a nearby resort and we were served tea sandwiches and fancy desserts as we watched this unique show. It was a delight and I think the girls enjoyed it. My favorite part though, was actually seeing the faces of the little girls when I presented their dolls with their own desserts. I found a lady on Ebay who makes American Doll food and I bought this set for each girl, wrapped it in a darling striped candy box I found at the craft store. It was a hit!

I found a lady on Etsy who made Alexandra's outfit and another who made her matching doll outfit.

Tonight we celebrated Andrew's birthday at my least favorite place on the planet? When I say germs, what comes to mind? Chuck E Cheese. My friends made so much fun of me when they got the invitation, because they know I rarely even allow my kids to go to parties there. It screams germs! Yuck. But hey, it was his birthday and he's been saying he's going to have it there for months. How could I disappoint this sweet angel? And it was really a relief not to have any home planning.

And, I can't leave out my little Koda. I love this little terror. After all his illnesses, we were finally able to get his second round of vaccinations yesterday. It is a good thing too, because my vet already thinks he needs to watch his food intake. I was trying to blame it on all that soft, fuzzy fur, but she insists that he needs to cut back. Ahh, it's hard to resist that face. They do say that Goldens will always look at you like they are starving whenever food is around. It is the truth.

We are planning to join a local kennel club so he can get some more exercise and we are trying to get into some puppy kindergarten classes. He'll burn those pounds off soon enough!

Hurray for a Warm Day!

2009-03-08T16:23:00.000-04:00

Am I Adorable or What

2009-03-07T16:44:00.001-05:00

We are so happy that Koda is doing so much better. The antibiotics seem to be working and he is acting happy and very much like the cute little puppy that he is. We still have no idea what caused his illness, but the mass has shrunken considerably - I believe there is just a little scar tissue there now and we hope we are over the worst of it. We've had two glorious 70 degree days and he's been outside almost all day digging up every flower bed he can find. Is he not irrisistable though? -- he's a big ball of love..... (in the last picture, he looks so much like his dad and yes, that is dirt all over his nose)

2009-03-03T07:50:00.000-05:00

Tired of seeing this face - I added a friend for diversity :) More pics for http://www.fairyprincessclothing.com/.

Koda Update

2009-03-01T21:24:00.000-05:00

So Koda goes into surgery tomorrow morning. Keep the sweet little guy in your prayers. The good news is that they think the antibiotics are working because the mass on his lymph node was filled with clear liquid the last time they aspirated it. The bad news is that because the antibiotics are working, the results they sent to the lab probably will not show us what is causing this horrible illness. They will attempt to remove some of the lump tomorrow and decide whether or not they need to biopsy it. The best news is Koda is finally acting like the puppy he should be. Even though he nipping and biting my leg every time I walk, I can't help but smile because it is obvious how much better he is feeling. He is now resisting the crate and jumping all over us - all the things a new little puppy should do. Thank heavens.

It's interesting the difference in opinion there is out there regarding animals. Some people can't even believe that having had him for only a week, we would even consider keeping him and taking on these vet bills. Others acted as if returning him should never even be a consideration. The breeder offered to exchange him right away and I have to admit that we considered it. I felt so frustrated that we had prepared so long and had to deal with this so suddenly. But my consideration was only for a second. My heart broke and the tears flowed as I imagined saying "good-bye". As long as I find out that Koda can live a good healthy, comfortable life after this, we will continue to care for him. We have already fallen in love with the little guy. Thank you to all my friends who were so kind to me last week when I was a sobbing mess :)

Intentional and Not Intentional

2009-02-25T20:53:00.000-05:00

Ever have one of those days where you feel like you are on everybody’s bad side. I’m most certainly having one of those days today. I’ve offended and angered people both unknowingly and knowingly and it’s put me in a pretty bummed out mood. I’m feeling rather alone in my misery. Feel free to quit reading now… I think I’m writing this mostly get it off my chest so I can put it to rest!

I knowingly offended a woman on Ebay today because after 20 days, I expected the dress I ordered to be here. On her listing, she suggested that she did Priority Mail Shipping and she also had very good positive feedback. I’ve written about 10 emails inquiring as to the whereabouts of my package (they all started out friendly I might add, in fear that she might retaliate and damage my 100% feedback rating if I wrote anything but kind words). That’s the problem with buying and selling on Ebay – it’s hard to be honest with feedback in fear of having your own feedback ruined when the buyer or seller leaves theirs. I mean, think about it, are they seriously going to give you the positive rating you deserve, when you have revealed the truth about their horrible customer service. But, enough of the kindness. I received one two word email response to my ten. My purchasing allowance has gone way down this season – this was one of my splurges and I’m irritated. I’m sure she is irritated herself now after receiving my note today. Hmm, I’ve yet to hear back from her.

I unknowingly offended an entire company yesterday. They basically told me that I almost single handedly put the integrity of their entire organization in jeopardy. This was not in any way intentional and the entire issue was a complete misunderstanding and completely blown out of proportion, but you cannot imagine the nasty communication I received yesterday. I think I’m about over it now, but it was grim.

I ordered another something from Etsy. I love Etsy – all these people with talents I lack. I ordered a custom sundress for Alexandra a couple weeks ago. It arrived today and I was thrilled…. until I opened it. There was a huge OBVIOUS mistake in the very front of the dress. I wasn’t sure what to do – KNOWINGLY OFFEND yet another person or just eat the money and let Alexandra wear the dress for PLAY. After about about an hour of wishywashyness, I emailed the seamstress and told her the defect/mistake was just too obvious to ignore. UGHH – luckily she was a bit kinder in her response.

I arrived at preschool this afternoon in time to see my Andrew sobbing in a chair. There was a group around him and I could tell someone was apologizing to him. I wanted to go scoop him up and smother him in kisses. I’ve said before that he isn’t a crier so I knew something pretty darn bad had to happen to set him off. And bad me, I was guessing which kid had caused the torment. His mom walked up at just that moment and I knowingly gave her a somewhat nasty glare as if her son’s personality and actions are her fault. Turns out this little boy was involved but Andrew said that he didn’t hit or hurt him as I had suspected, instead, he, as Andrew put it, “broke his heart and he will not be able to put it back together”. Apparently, Andrew was telling him about his birthday plans and this little boy told him that his plans were dumb and he wouldn’t want to come. Awwww – picture the tears in my own eyes now as he told me this story.

These tears pretty much sum up my day. Thank goodness for tomorrows and brighter attitudes! I will do my best to make someone happy tomorrow!

He's Home

2009-02-22T13:56:00.000-05:00

After so many weeks of waiting, it's hard to believe Koda is finally home. We picked him up yesterday and he's a bundle of joy. He was so shy and nervous when he first got here, but he is starting to warm up now and is already finding his favorite spots in the house. Potty Training seems an impossible task at the moment, but I suppose it always seems that way at the beginning. I was planning to do the night rounds since he can still only go a couple of hours - how shocked was I when David said he would do it. He got up 3 times last night - poor guy. We'll see if he turns the duty over to me tonight. My oh my, we already love this cute little guy. Honestly, look at him - how could you not?

Too many Cupcakes

2009-02-21T14:49:00.000-05:00

I'm really hoping and crossing my fingers that these are the last indoor photos we have to take this season. It's been good experience, but it just not my thing. I'm hoping that if I think warm thoughts, Spring will start to show it's pretty little head. A few more pics for the website - we have a bunch more in the making but I'm hoping all future shots can be taken outside - we are going to venture out to a botanical garden sometime this week. Let's hope for at least one day above 35 degrees, a few more smiles, and possibly even a couple of flowers :).

Koda

2009-02-08T21:15:00.000-05:00

We trekked back to the Golden Retriever breeder on Saturday to pick out our little guy. This is our Koda at 4 weeks old. You cannot imagine how difficult it was to choose this little guy. All of the puppies were so cute, cuddly and adorable. We fell in love with all of them. Alexandra said that this little guy chose us though. He didn't leave our side and even stayed with us when all of his brothers walked away and fell asleep in another corner of the room. We get to bring him home in less than 2 weeks. We are just trying to puppy proof as we get ready for his arrival.

We took a couple more shots for Katrina's website today! Not a very Spring like background with dead leaves and trees- but we certainly couldn't complain about the weather today. I can't wait for SPRING!

What a Trooper!

2009-01-22T12:14:00.000-05:00

Alexandra helped out a children's clothing designer by modeling a few outfits for her site this week. These shots were supposed to be outdoors, but we had to resort to indoors due to the 20 degree weather we were having. Believe it or not, we actually tried these very outfits outside first. As you can imagine, it was torture for Alex. Since I pretty much stink at figuring out how to use natural lighting indoors, this project became a HUGE challenge for me. But thanks to my friend Kari's generosity, we had a great house to shoot in and her artistic suggestions on various shots. Check out her site for inspiration (linked on the side). Thanks to spending that time at her house this week, I'm now actively engaged in the biggest Spring Cleaning/Overhaul of my house that I have ever undertaken before. I've already filled 5 trash bags full of junk to throw away or go to good will. It feels so good! OH yeah, and I think Alexandra did a great job too! What a trooper.

We are Expecting...

2009-01-10T17:04:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I'm not having a baby. But there is almost as much excitement for our upcoming arrival. Our family spent the day in the Shennandoah's at a Golden Retriever Ranch. What an interesting place - horses, mules, and turkeys that greet you upon arrival(literally - the kids were terrified) and then you are surrounded by the most beautiful Golden Retrievers, all beckoning you over with their gentle smiles, ready to share their love.

Choosing your puppy is quite the process. We went to the breeder today simply to select the litter we wanted to choose our puppy from. What a predicament that was. It was so overwhelming. I loved all the dogs, but since David is partial to the lighter cream English Goldens, we chose a brand new litter of pups(from Sara Lee and Biscuit) that were born only two days ago. We loved the dad (his pic is below) and the dad is from a Champion bloodline. Not that that means so much to us, since we aren't planning to breed or show, but we hope our puppy will be healthy coming from this good stock :) As you can see in the picture, the puppies still look like little mice and you can't tell one from the next. We will return in about 4 or 5 weeks and select our puppy. We are first on the list and this means, we will have first choice. We are excited about that part. We will play with all the puppies, see which one loves us the most, and collar him at that time. Then, two or three weeks later, we will finally be able to bring him home.

The wait will be longer than expected (we planned to pick today from a different litter and bring him home in two more weeks), but I'm glad that I will have a little more time to prepare. I haven't even started my puppy training reading. Plus, hopefully the weather will warm up just a bit since I will be on potty duty most of the time. And, of course, it will give us all something to look forward to during these cold winter days. Our biggest hope and prayer right now is that Andrew's asthma will not get worse having a dog around. We've had him tested twice with negative results, but I'm not too confident in the allergy testing. Time will tell. I know some children do not show reactions until several weeks after welcoming their puppy. We hope to have better luck!

Sara Lee with her puppies - hard to see since the heat lamps were on...

This is Biscuit - the daddy

What the pups might look - from a Biscuit past litter.

Meet Alex

2008-12-31T22:29:00.000-05:00

I've had the pleasure of spending the last week with my newest nephew, Alexander. He's actually almost 6 months old, but this was the first time I got to meet him in person. Isn't he a doll? Alexandra was smitten. She said "Mom, are you sure we have to get a dog instead of a baby?"

<

Couldn't leave out my dear old folks. Sure love these guys!

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth

2008-12-16T08:25:00.000-05:00

She lost them both last week and this is sung to her on a daily basis by anyone that runs into her.

Olivia and Julian

2008-12-02T21:50:00.000-05:00

It was absolutely frigid today and these little troopers barely mumbled a complaint. My hands were raw and barely functioning so I can only imagine how cold they were without any outerwear. Have you ever seen such gorgeous eyes? I have a zillion to go through, but here are few...

Review Time - Liked it okay, then Loved it!

2008-11-22T18:28:00.001-05:00

We arrived at 10:30 for the midnight showing of Twilight on Thursday. The line, filled with anxious teenagers already wrapped around the entire theater. Some of the kids had been there for hours. We were pretty much the oldest gals there minus a couple of high school English teachers that we met in line, but I had a blast and my excitement for the event was hard to contain. I was completely giddy.

Okay, so the movie.... Maybe it was the time, coupled with all the diet coke I drank to stay awake, but I couldn't stop laughing. I mean, I was laughing to the point that tears were streaming down my face. The director did add quite a few funny bits - especially with the human highschoolers, but I was laughing at parts that I don't think were intended to be funny as well. Edward's facial expressions just threw me. His character was not at all as I envisioned and it all caught me completely off guard. I was also disappointed that Edward and Bella's relationship formed so quickly with so many of my favorite parts of the book being dismissed or consolidated into a 25 second time slot. It made it hard for me to believe they could really be in love.

At the end of the movie, the teens walked out swooning, professing their undying love to Edward, and I walked out of the theater picking the movie apart. I knew I wouldn't like it as well as the book, but all the reviews kept commenting on how similar it was to the book, so I guess I just imagined it all a little differently.

But, after my 2 hours of sleep, I awoke already feeling like maybe I should give the movie another shot. Several of my best girlfriends across the globe felt similarly I learned, and we all decided that Twilight, the movie, deserved another viewing. I knew a bunch of my local girlfriends were going to the 10 o'clock showing that night and I decided I was going to go again with a new attitude. I quickly reread several chapters in the original book so I knew how it was supposed to be in my mind, but decided I would separate that knowledge from the movie all together and enjoy it for what it was. We arrived to an entirely different audience - I was anxious to see how they would respond in comparison to the younger crowd.

The VERDICT. I absolutely enjoyed it. I kept whispering to my girlfriend that I was so happy to be there and was even loving certain parts. By the end, I was surprised that this was the same movie I had seen earlier that morning.

So, Twilight, in my opinion, was definitely geared towards a teenage audience where the depth of Bella and Edward's relationship isn't so important or focused on. And the fact that Edward is actually over 100 years old in a teenage body doesn't matter to the teens like it does to me. I say that b/c he never seemed as mature or "strong" as I imagined him. But setting those points aside, I really liked it. It was entertaining and I even enjoyed the goofy silly effects that are being so criticized. I love love love the song by the Muse that was played during the baseball game (one of my favorite parts) and I've been playing it loudly all day long. Rob Pattinson is not necessarily my Edward, but he did a great job and is definitely not hard on the eyes!

I think I will go again next week!

Can we have our Mom back already?

2008-11-14T16:56:00.000-05:00

I'm done! I started the series on Monday night and I'm done. I feel so relieved and so sad at the same time. I'm honestly physically and emotionally drained. I slept little, the house is a wreck, and I've neglected my children. And now it is time to step away from Bella and Edward and Alice and all those vampires that I grew to love and back into MY life.

I absolutely loved all four books and look foward to next Thursday's Midnight showing! I only hope it will not disappoint.

Revelations

2008-11-12T10:31:00.000-05:00

I now understand. Girlfriends have been trying to convince me FoReVeR to read the Twilight books and the vampire just had no appeal to me whatsoever. But since the movie is coming out next week and friends far and wide are making a night of celebration in honor of the release, I decided it was time for me to step onto the band wagon to see what the hype was all about. Okay! Complete Addiction - almost instantly as I entered into the second chapter. I looked at my husband and said " I worry that it is going to be a long night". I could not put the book down. I tried, but then I got up and got out a mini flashlight and read until the wee hours of the morning somewhat hiding in between the covers like I was hiding a dirty little secret. I thought it was that good. I awoke and couldn't wait to continue reading this morning... a few pages here and there in between getting lunches ready and sending the kids off to school. I finished shortly after dropping Andrew off at school, ran the book to my neighbor and told her she had to finish it by next week and hurried to Borders to pick up the other 3! I'm going to try to get my now very tired self to do a tiny bit of exercise before I start the next one. I can hardly wait!

Christmas Card Pics

2008-11-08T14:12:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking picture #1. So don't be surprised if you see this photo again in December :) I noticed this spot on a drive once, and then couldn't figure out how to actually get there. We parked, scouted out the territory, and walked a bit and then.... re-parked, re-scouted and walked some more. By the time we finally found this bridge, my ice cream bribe was wearing off and the kids were done. Luckily, we managed to get a few that might work. The colors are funky on the last two, but for all that scouting, I had to show off the pretty spot we found.

Gratitude

2008-11-04T12:33:00.000-05:00

I was up most of the night with Andrew. He had an ear ache and the poor little guy was miserable. I wasn't quite sure how to soothe him as neither of my kids has ever had an ear infection -- even an ear ache before yesterday. That's rather amazing isn't it especially with Andrew's allergies and asthma. I personally like to attribute it to all those years of nursing, since David and I were plagued by ear infections as children, but who knows... maybe they just got lucky.

We finally got up for good at about 4:30 this morning and since I was already up, I decided to get ready to go vote early. Just as the news predicted, the parking lot was already full and people were wrapped around the entire school. So in a nutshell, being up for a good portion of the night and waiting in the long line this morning gave me a lot of time to "think" and I began to reflect on blessings in my life. I started to think about our family's experience from David's recent unemployment and the blessings I have realized as a result of it.

Let me say first that I know that we were lucky. We did have a couple of months severance and were only without a paycheck for a few months. Some people have it so much worse. I would not wish it any longer, but without that experience, I can honestly admit, that I would have never developed the appreciation I now have for my husband. David is very private and a little difficult to crack I suppose, but he is such an amazing father and friend, and his persistence and no give up happy attitude even during tough times were a powerful example to me of his character. Besides that I guess, I just really learned to appreciate the little things and the beauty that is all around me. I have always told Heavenly Father how thankful I am for my children. I love being their mom and have made it a point to never forget them in my prayers, but now I am also letting Him know how thankful I am for the less obvious things as well. My mom has a poem that hangs on her refrigerator. I think it is fantastic!

I am thankful for a husband that lays on the sofa b/c it means that he is home with me
I am thankful for the teenager who is home doing dishes b/c it means that she is home and not on the streets
I am thankful for the taxes I pay bc it means that I am employed
I am thankful for the mess to clean after a party b/c it means I have been surrounded by friends
I am thankful for the clothes that fit a little too snug b/c it means I have enough to eat
I am thankful for my shadow that watches me work b/c it means that I am out in the sunshine
I am thankful for the lawn that needs mowing, the windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing b/c it means that I have a home
I am thankful for all the complaining I hear about the government b/c it means that we have freedom of speech
I am thankful for the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot b/c it means that I am capable of walking and have been blessed by transportation
I am thankful for my heating bills b/c it means that I am warm
I am thankful for the lady behind me in church that sings off key b/c it means that I can hear
I am thankful for the pile of laundry and ironing b/c it means that I have clothes to wear
I am thankful for the alarm that goes off in the early hours b/c it means that I am alive

author unknown

Yummy Cheeks

2008-11-03T20:19:00.000-05:00

Have I mentioned lately how much I love this kid? He honestly knows how to melt my heart. And whatever will I do when he no longer lets me kiss those cheeks. The kids had the day off from school today. We had a very lazy morning and then Alexandra found a friend to hang out with, but Andrew spent most of the day hanging out with Mom. I don't think I'm nearly as much fun as Daddy - my ball tossing is less than desirable for batting practice and I pretty much stink at figuring out video games, but I sure enjoy spending time with you my darling boy. And I savor all those hugs and kisses!

Star Wars

2008-11-02T10:30:00.000-05:00

Shhh... I'm not a huge Halloween fan. I do promise to sound much more excited as Thanksgiving and Christmas get nearer. That's when my spirits really soar, but I could do without all the candy and sugar highs and lows that seem to accompany Halloween -- and the extra pounds I somehow put on during the Fright Night celebrations. But I do think the kids looked pretty cute as Princess Padme and Jango Fett.

Fall is here

2008-10-19T21:42:00.000-04:00

Dear Grandmama and Granddaddy,

We miss you so much. Mom took us out to a park this morning and snapped a few fall pictures and it reminded us of our trip to the mountains last year. Even though we missed all the changing leaves, we loved being with you, seeing all the deer around our cabin, and sipping that hot cocoa. We are so happy that we might see you next weekend. Andrew and I are already getting our suitcases packed just in case and mom already found someone to teach her class next Sunday. We are looking forward to smothering you both in hugs in kisses and can't wait to hear Granddaddy's jokes. See you soon!

with love,
Alexandra and Andrew

I feel their pain

2008-10-13T10:32:00.000-04:00

So I decided this past weekend that as much as I would like more kids, I'm probably lucky that I haven't had more. Emotionally, I'm just too much of a worrier and I think that I might just collapse if I had another child to "worry" about . It's like this. When my kids are sick or hurt, I feel every minute with them. I'm truly not exaggerating when I say that I barely sleep when they are sick and you will usually find me laying next to them watching them through the night, checking and rechecking to ensure that they are comfortable and breathing without difficulty. Exercise, housework, even my must-see evening tv, are pretty much tossed as all of my energy is invested in getting them well.

I spent half of my anniversary in the ER with Andrew. He had another asthma attack it was not fun. It wasn't as bad as the attack he had last year since I didn't know what was happening at the time and thus, he couldn't lift his head or speak by the time we got him in to the doctor. But it was bad enough that multiple nebulizer treatments weren't helping him at all and in between his rapid breaths, he was able to cry that it "hurt to breathe" and he "couldn't catch his breath". He was even pleading for another treatment when usually he is begging not to do one at all. So we spent many hours in the ER as they gave him several steroid doses and continued the neb treatments. His wheezing was down by the time we left but he continues to breathe so loudly and rapidly and tires after a few minutes of walking around - we will continue with the oral steroids and neb treatments over the next several days until we see improvement. And hopefully I'll be able to sleep again when that happens.

I hate asthma -- mostly because we have so many unanswered questions. What causes his attacks, how frequent they really are, and whether or not we should be on a daily maintenance inhaler. Like this attack, he had a very slight cold. I took him off of zyrtec so that I could give him Mucinex for two days to help him sleep better - did I unknowingly cause it? Who knows? I guess we will know more once he is old enough to do a peak flow meter reading. But I hate being in the dark and just guessing. I keep asking myself, what would have happened if David and I really had gone out of town for our anniversary. Someone else may have never recognized the symptoms and it could have been much worse.

Looks like we will have to wait another couple of years before we vacation without the kiddos. So pathetic I know. I really am, aren't I?

Happy Anniversary

2008-10-08T13:53:00.000-04:00

Eleven years ago, I moved back to Northern Virginia from Utah. As luck would have it, I got a job with a telecom company on the tippy top floor of a fabulous mall, so I spent many a lunch break perusing the shops. On one afternoon as I was hurrying back to my desk, I met a guy in the elevator of my building. He was very tan with glasses and he was in great shape. He looked at my bag and said “let me guess, black sandals”. “How did you know?” I inquired. He just smiled. Okay, so it wasn’t a Jerry McGuire line, but I was sort of smitten. We were both new hires and had our entire floor trying to “hook us up”. Little did they know that we had already been dating for several months at the point when they started pressing us. 3 ½ years later, we would get married barefoot on the beach in Hawaii.

My husband isn’t quite the guy I expected. In fact, we joke often that if we had “really known” the true character and flaws of one another, we probably would have never tied the knot. We are about as opposite as they come and it has made for some challenges I suppose, but I have also come to realize that I am pretty darn lucky. Below are the reasons why you’d be lucky to have such a great guy.

My husband cleans – No seriously, he does dishes more than I do, he cleans bathrooms, he even does his own laundry. Okay, so originally he did his laundry b/c I didn’t fold it to his correct folding specifications, but now it is just habit. Did I mention that he irons too?

You will never find a more laid back guy. Here is a fact. I am highstrung. I can be fun I think, but I can also be moody and mean and a difficult person to live with – especially at certain times during the month. David rarely if ever raises his voice and basically just ignores me in a nice way when I’m spinning out of control.

He listens. I used to complain to him that I was always doing the talking. Yeah, who am I kidding? What woman doesn’t want to do all the talking? Truly, I do so many stupid things and I whine and rant and he listens – or at least pretends to.

He’s am aMaZiNg dad. Okay, so he wasn’t that great when the kids were babies, but he made up for it 110% when the kids became toddlers. He plays with the kids. He really does spend any free time he has with our family and is often surprising us with his ideas for a weekend activity or excursion. Even when he is doing work in the yard or around the house, he finds a way to include the kids. It is no wonder that they adore him.

He is the smartest guy I know. Okay, set aside all the degrees he holds, he is still just plain smart. He can talk to anyone about any subject and has street smarts as well. Street Smarts/Common sense – something I absolutely do not possess any of.

He loves the beach and Disney World. One of the things that attracted us to one another originally was the fact that we both enjoy traveling. With little kiddos our destinations don’t reach much further than the beach or Disney World. But we sure have made some amazing family memories at both of those places. Not many days pass without one of the two being mentioned by someone in the family. Love it!

A more positive attitude you will never find. These past several months without employment have been trying for our family. David has kept an incredibly positive attitude, always saying that the right thing will happen. Where I should be supporting and encouraging him, it is usually the other way around. The kids have absolutely been spoiled rotten having Daddy home so much. And my eyes have really been opened to the blessing he is in our lives. He has taught me and is continuing to teach me so much about sacrifice and the things that are really important in this life.
Happy Anniversary! Thank you for bringing so much happiness to our family.

Bella

2008-10-05T13:06:00.000-04:00

More practice with Princess Isabella. She is the littlest baby on our street and we all adore her. Unfortunately, I didn't have great lighting last night but she still manages to make the pictures shine. Actually, these first pictures are not really fuzzy like they are showing up here - I'm still trying to figure out how to upload them this new way - I still might not have sized them correctly. Michelle, what were the size specs you gave me?

Ashlyn

2008-10-04T11:51:00.000-04:00

So I had a crappy last couple of days. To divert my attention from our current family stresses, I decided I would start focusing more on my current photography hobby. Alexandra is the perfect model, but I know that not all kids pose and cooperate like she does, so I must delve outside of my comfort zone and see what happens. This cutie, Ashlyn, lives in our cul de sac. Eager to start my new self assigned practice, I stuck a pettiskirt over her pants and started shooting around my house, coaxing her with goldfish and fruit snacks. The power of food!

Apple Town

2008-09-27T23:11:00.000-04:00

With the arrival of Fall, Alexandra and Andrew have both been discussing apples and "apple" related subjects like Johnny Appleseed in school. Andrew's preschool even have an Applefest this past weekend in celebration of this yummy season. So, we decided to do some celebrating ourselves and set off to pick our own apples this afternoon. We headed to a town not too far from us that boasts being an "Apple" town, even has apple blossoms painted on it's streets pointing the direction to it's multiple orchards. Can I just say that I have never seen such big apples in my life - so many varities and we were able to just pick and eat as we walked along. We got a bit carried away as you can imagine with two excited apple pickers and now I am trying to come up with every type of apple food I can make over the next several weeks..... apple pie, apple bread, apple sauce, apple butter, YUMMMMMMM!

Real Color

2008-09-27T22:52:00.000-04:00

I'm mourning the end of my PhotoShop CS3 trial. I've become very accustomed to playing with lighting and color, especially when shooting mid day on a rainy/cloudy day like today. Oh well, we still had a blast with the shoot. Thanks to my friend Michelle, Alexandra and I are both in love with the new Taylor Swift song and she actually required that I play it on my laptop while we were snapping these shots in my neighbor's backyard.

Why I like FaceBook

2008-09-21T10:51:00.000-04:00

So for several months, I periodically received invites from random friends encouraging me to join Facebook. I already had this blog thing that diverted enough of my time, and so I wasn’t very interested in signing up for yet another site that required check-ins and check-ups, etc. However, the majority of my friends are not bloggers and have been going on and on about how much they love Facebook. So one day I finally gave in and promised that I would at least try it. My conclusion. It is fun. Very fun, actually. In the few weeks that I have been on Facebook, I have reconnected with friends I have literally not been in contact with since my junior year of highschool. I have had a couple short term boyfriends (I’m talking 3 Week-ers) and just old boy friends (friends that are boys) send me funny messages and catch me up on the last 15 years of their life, proudly sharing their pictures of their beautiful wives and children. I have had college roommates and former co-workers let me know when they’ve been reminded of me and what they are currently up to. I’ve been in contact with special mission friends I completely lost contact with when we returned home. It is all FUN! But you know, as “fun” as those connections have been, it is not even the best part.

By getting on Facebook, I have come in contact with some of my very best girlfriends. It is amazing to me, that someone can play such a huge role in your life as you are growing up, and then you go off to school, or move away, or get married, and just lose contact with that person. I know this isn’t the case for some people who are much better at keeping in contact with their girlfriends. But this is the case for me. And over the years, especially as I’ve come to the realization that as great as a husband is, he does not fill the void of a best girlfriend, I’ve missed those old friends. I’ve made new friends that I love too, but there will always be a reserved place in my heart for those older friends who knew me at my most fun-loving and carefree days. I cherish so many of those memories now, and look to those memories when I’m feeling like a boring, not so spontaneous mom. We will not write or call every day I’m sure, but they are a part of my life again and I’ve so thankful for a second chance to make sure they stay a part of my life.

Changes...

2008-09-08T21:00:00.000-04:00

Shortly before David’s mom passed away several years ago, she took me out for a special lunch. She adored her children so she was both elated and sad when she found out I was pregnant with my first. She could not wait to be a grandmother, but she also was aware that her cancer had progressed to a point that probably wouldn’t allow her much time in this anticipated role.

Doris shared some wonderful advice during our lunch that day. In a very loving way, she shared with me, some of the lessons she had learned during her life as a wife and mother. One of the stories I remember most was about my husband, David. She told me that David was her best buddy when he was a kid. She was his favorite playmate and he confided in her about every detail of his life and was affectionate beyond measure. But she said that when he turned 7, this all changed. He no longer wanted to share his secrets with mom and began to be embarrassed by her hugs and kisses. He still loved her no doubt, but found little boy buddies that became his secret keepers and a single hug and kiss replaced the zillion kisses requested in the past.

Three years would pass before I had a little boy of my own, and the love affair with my little guy was just as she described it would be. I have said it so many times. I 100% adore this boy. We have an amazing bond. He does share “everything” with me – his fears, his joys, his heartaches, even his Wii strategies. We cuddle and hug and he calls out “more kisses mom, more kisses” as I smother his cheeks with smooches. I love it and trust me, I haven’t taken it for granted. I have loved these moments and have remembered them in many prayers of gratitude.

Andrew started preschool today and my heart strings were tugged as I let him go. Preschool… not a big deal to many, but it was a big step for us. He was ready I guess, and didn’t cry or hang on to my leg or beg me not to go. Although obviously nervous to his mom, he walked in there bravely and took a seat. I, on the other hand, kept my fingers crossed for three hours hoping and praying,that he was having fun and able to actually sit still in his seat for more than a minute. But when I picked him up, it was obvious to his mom who has been the keeper of his secrets for the last four years, that he was not so happy.

As we got in the car and I asked him about his day, he said “I’d rather not talk about school with you”. When I asked him if he’d like to go out for ice cream to celebrate his first day, he said “I love you, but I’d like to go to ice cream with dad today”. Ahhh, those heart strings were tugged again. That story my mother in law shared, rushed into my mind and I had to hold back actual tears. Could it really be happening already? I told David this evening, that even if my cherished little boy secrets and zillion hugs and kisses are not yet over, I could see a bit into the future today and it stung. Even if he keeps me as a confidant (could he?)and doesn’t always mind the affection, things will inevitably still change.

They grow up so fast.

Firsts

2008-09-02T20:51:00.000-04:00

Today was Alexandra's first day of FIRST grade. When Alexandra started Kindergarten last year, I was extremely emotional. We are only allowed to walk the kids as far as a side entrance of the school - so once we arrived, we quickly hugged and as she walked away and I waved from a distance, I could barely contain my tears. I thought I might be similarly teary eyed this morning since Alexandra was now going to school ALL day. But she was so excited this morning that it certainly made it a bit easier for me.

Alexandra and I have been reading the Ramona series together - the very same Ramona books that I read when I was a kid. She is fascinated by Ramona and all the trouble she gets herself into and during our reading over the last few weeks, continuously asked,"will it really be like that in first grade?" So I know she was eager to find out for herself if her expectations (good and bad) proved to be correct.

This leads me to the highlight of my little girl's day, which actually ocurred after school today. In the very first Ramona book, Ramona discovers the joys of boy/girl chasing - a pretty new concept for Alexandra, but one that sounded too interesting and exciting for her busy mind not to explore. She asked me oodles of questions and apparently had really given this some thought at times aside from our nightly reading because when the class lists were finally posted last week, she told me that she was disappointed that her boyfriend, Kyle(cutie in our cul de sac), was not in her class. "How am I going to chase Kyle during recess if he is not in my class?"

So much to her delight, as she was reciting in great detail the events of her school day this afternoon, Andrew came over to let us know that the boys wanted to talk to Alexandra. The next thing I knew, there were happy screams coming from their (kyle and brothers) garage and a game of chase followed. She told me it was better than she had imagined. My oh My, what trouble do I have to look forward to. At least having a boyfriend at age 6 pretty much guarantees that they won't talk to one another. So I'm safe for at least a couple of years.

This is Kyle, Alexandra's "Davey".

One More...

2008-09-01T13:28:00.000-04:00

ACTIONS

2008-09-01T11:37:00.001-04:00

I've been dying to try out these free actions I downloaded before my Photoshop CS3 Trial runs out in a couple of days. After a little begging and bribing, Alexandra agreed to be my model "just this one last time". I'm going to have to play around with them, but I love the varations you can do with a single picture.
This is called Black and White beauty and although my lighting wasn't perfect to begin with (her features are a little flat), I still really like the coloring.

Below are three different variations of the same photo. So cool what can be done! Okay, I just realized that I stuck in the wrong pic here. Since I haven't figured out how to replace a picture on my blog without starting over, I'm not changing it for now -- supposed to be much lighter than the one after it.

This is called Lovely and Ethereal. Would be a great action for a forest fairy/tea party I think.
And this is a vintage (soft and faded) action.
What I really need now is a good eye pop action for the face photos. I haven't found any free ones yet, so I better start saving my pennies.

A New Milestone

2008-08-25T14:49:00.000-04:00

Alexandra is ecstatic today. The picture doesn't show it because I snapped this picture randomly today, but she is a very happy girl who has told me over and over this afternoon how old she feels. If you look very closely(um, yeah, it is hard to see), you can see what it is that is making her so proud and happy. Alex decided to get her ears pierced today. Yep! After weeks and weeks of talking about and walking around the mall for hours on many occasion, as she often waivered over this ever so difficult decision, she woke up this morning and decided that today was the day.

We made it a family affair and even had bystanders stop by the shop window to see how she would handle her decision. Might I say she did it with flying colors - a tiny "ow" was all we heard from her and although a bit nervous, she was more excited than anything. What a girl!

Tear Jerker but Incredibly Inspiring

2008-08-20T12:48:00.000-04:00

I have spent the last several days glued to this blog, http://adailyscoop.blogspot.com/2008_06_01_archive.html.
I do not know the woman who writes it but I would sure like to.

On June 13th, her little girl drowned in their backyard spa. They had only had the spa for 4 days. She is an incredibly strong woman and her beautiful entries have not only brought outpourings of tears on my part, but she has also inspired me with her courage and faith. She writes so honestly each day about her ups and downs and new insights on death and eternal families. She not only motivates me to enjoy each moment with my own children, but she also has encouraged me to not take the every day things of life I worry about so seriously. I worry WAY TOO MUCH and I think my worry even prevents my kids from experiencing some fun activities in life (if that makes sense). Reading her blog has really made me consider that perhaps everyone really does have their time that they will leave this earth, and if it doesn't happen one way, it will happen in another - I do wish I could grasp this a little more; it might free this unnatural obsession I seem to have with death and bad things happening. I just need to find the comfort of being "okay" with the fact that I can't control destiny.

I will continue to follow her posts. If you do decide to read, make sure to have a box of kleenex handy. The link starts in June when the event occurred.

Our Last Day

2008-08-18T20:48:00.000-04:00

We were driving back to the beach house on our last night there, and both Alexandra and Andrew began to cry, almost in unison. Alexandra is very sensitive and so this isn't completely unusal for her, but it is slightly out of character for Andrew. I guess someone in the car started talking about how we were going home tomorrow and it hit the kids at the same moment. They didn't want to leave the beach. They didn't want to be apart from their grandparents. "Please can we stay just another week? another couple days? just one more day?" In the most convincing way I could, I explained to them that the reason why this vacation is so special to them each year is because we don't get to be here all the time, so we look forward to those activities we do only at the beach. Once I finally got them off to bed that night, I realized that I was feeling a bit glum myself. I so looked forward to our beach trip this year and it passed so quickly and now it is back to reality - the reality that David is still searching for a job, and the reality that school is starting and I'm dreading it.

You'd think that it was me starting first grade. I'm nervous for her. I try to imagine her finding friends to eat with on her first day and feeling comfortable in all her new classes and surroundings. I'm sure going to miss her being gone all day. And Andrew is starting preschool. I think he is finally ready now, but I'm so used to having my little guy right beside me to hug and kiss whenever I please. My kiddos are seriously growing up way too fast!

I've used Alexandra as my model for so long that she has a hard time taking a picture now without posing. I was aiming for a more candid shot here.

We visited Cape Hatteras this year and Andrew climbed all 268 stairs himself. David and my dad accompanied him, but the gals chose to stay behind with their bad ankles and knees! Oh yeah, having recently read "Nights in Rodanthe" ---also coming soon to a big screen near you, we passed Rodanthe on the way. I was going to get out and take a picture next to the sign but if you blink you pretty much miss the town.

So glad that my dad was able to come for a couple of days at the end of our stay. He was the best finishing touch on an already perfect vacation.

Do I really want to take up Photography as a hobby?

2008-08-15T07:10:00.000-04:00

So I've come to an important realization while at the beach this year. The more I learn about photography, the more completely confused I get. I ordered a couple of books before our trip and read those right away and have spent some late nights here, reading photography blogs and everything else I can find regarding lighting and aperture and exposure and manual shooting, etc. etc. I get so excited when I start to understand a concept and feel like my studying is beginning to pay off. However, when it came time to actually take the planned pictures of the kids last night, I actually got nervous and all that learning went out the window. I knew already that it was still too light outside once we arrived in Manteo, and then I couldn't decide on an aperture or what mode I should even shoot in. Half the pictures came out blurry. I'm considering returning to Automatic - would that be a cop-out? Probably. I guess I'll stick to it for a little while, but hopefully I'll have some unblurry memories to bring home from our trip. :)

Luckily my mom was with us and took this of the family. I was grumpy at this point and didn't want to try the tripod!

Life is a Beach

2008-08-13T15:11:00.000-04:00

We are still here and as always, savoring every minute of our vacation. No matter how much stress is in your life (and at this time, we definitely have our share), it never seems quite as bad when you are sleeping in a hammock with a cool breeze blowing across your face and the sound of the crashing waves in the background. Our family definitely anticipates this trip each year and while the kids are still very young, I try to relish these moments even more, knowing that at some point, some of this "magic" will disappear for them. They have made memories here that they are ready to repeat year after year and I love the excitement as they create special lists of all that must be accomplished before we head home. I also must admit, that I quite enjoy how quickly they fall asleep as their head hits their pillow after such a day is a fulfilled - I believe even their little stresses go out the window while they are here at the beach!

My mom is here this year and she celebrated her birthay today! We are having a little rain this morning, so we took her to the art festival and are having her choose our spot for dinner. Alexandra told her "Grandmama, any restaurant is fine.... as long as they have french fries".

We visit Jockey's Ridge (below) every year. These are the biggest sand dunes on the East Coast and children climb to fly kites and run an roll down the sand hills. Adults climb to hang glide and enjoy the amazing sunsets. We had to hurry to frozen custard, so we just missed the sunset.
This is what we do after we play on the beach in our clothes in the evening. To Andrew, you can't actually walk on the beach without getting completely in!

Finally Here

2008-08-12T07:06:00.000-04:00

I've been looking forward to this trip all Summer. We arrived to rain, but the kids still wanted to check out their familiar beach so I decided I'd snap a couple of photos at the same time. As we were walking back to the house, the sun began to peek through the clouds - just perfect. We've had two glorious days now. I hope the good streak continues for us for the rest of the week .....

can't decide which way I like this better...

Can he really be this good?

2008-08-09T19:19:00.000-04:00

I have a crush? Look at this little guy. How can you not? This is my nephew, Kayden, and Kayden is the world's most perfect little boy. He rarely whines or cries and although he is as active as little boys come, he is also perfectly content to sit in his stroller for hours as we moved slowly through an amusement park. I have to admit that I was in complete awe - I believe my jaw even dropped a couple of times in pure amazement at how content he was. And get this, he was just as content and easy going as a baby - slept well, cried little and even when he was sick you had a difficult time knowing it since he still smiled all the time. My oh my, I swear I'd have 5 more if I knew that they would turn out like Kayden. He stole my heart.
Alexandra was also smitten. She followed Kayden around the entire couple of days, telling me repeatedly how "he is the cutest thing I've ever seen". Since we returned home yesterday, she is asking me non-stop when she will get to see him again. She is completely distraught that he will be older the next time we get to see him. She wants him to be exactly as he is now - sweet, funny, fearless, and curious.

I think Andrew was the only one that wasn't quite so impressed with his little cousin. He said he didn't like babies, but the truth is, I believe he didn't quite know what to make of my attention going to any little guy other than him.
This is Kayden's big sister Ke'alohi. She is amazing in her own right. She is also a very easy going, wonderful little girl. I admire and adore her. My brother had kids before I had any of my own and she was my first little baby love. We are counting the days until we can see her again.

And this is Kayden's other big sis - Ambria. She is also a charming little lady.

Here is the whole clan with Grandmama and Granddaddy. Can you sense how excited these kids were to have their picture taken? I think my mom might be the only person actually cracking a faint smile. Fortunately, their expressions do not reflect the feeling of the day. We had a great time. Thank you Mom and Dad, for making the last couple of days so special!

Harpers Ferry

2008-08-04T08:58:00.000-04:00

We spent the day at Harpers Ferry yesterday. Harpers Ferry is interesting because there is one spot there where Virginia, Maryland, and West Virginia all come together. It is green and lush with rolling hills and mini mountains. There is a also a beautiful river and a lot of people go to Harpers Ferry to go tubing if they aren't there to learn about U.S. history. Behind where the kids are sitting were what seemed like miles and miles of stairs. It was an adventure especially for David since about half way up, Andrew pretended to collapse and had to be carried the rest of the way. Unfortunately for me, I've been having some ankle problems and I pretty much hobbled the whole way up and down. And, the entire family went on this expedition in flip flops so we basically looked like something out of Chevy Chase movie. Even so, we had a pretty good time!

I'm in Love....

2008-07-31T22:55:00.000-04:00

My neighbor gave me a mini photography tutorial tonight and let me borrow one of his lenses. I took it and ran - literally. I went crazy snapping pictures. I'm gonna have to get me one of these babies....

I wouldn't mind having one of these either......... Isn't Zoe the cutest?

Worry Wart

2008-07-25T16:01:00.000-04:00

I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to stop watching television. I’m naturally a worrier, but watching certain documentary type tv programs, even the news, really can have a deep, profound impact on me. It is not uncommon, after watching certain segments, for me to go to bed in tears wondering how I can protect my children from so many uncertainties in life.

It is very difficult to understand when watching such an episode, why it seems that Heavenly Father didn’t intervene in a particular situation. I have seen the hand of God in my life. I feel guilty even writing these thoughts, because I have physically and emotionally encountered direct answers and healings to prayers and blessings. But hearing about horrible debilitating sicknesses of children, or random gruesome murders of young mothers, I can’t help but question if Heavenly Father will always intervene in the most urgent situations in my own life. When a young mother is kidnapped and brutally killed, there is just no way to justify her situation and say that it was her time to go. I don’t believe that Heavenly Father would ever intend for her very young children to grow up without a mom. But I also know that Heavenly Father can move mountains if necessary and could have had helped her escape as she fought her attacker if he really chose to. I’ve heard countless incredible, almost unbelievable stories where someone survives the unimaginable. The question is why do these miracles happen for some and not for others? I don’t care if you believe in an afterlife or not, there is still a huge amount of hurt and emptiness associated with a loss – especially when the circumstances surrounding it are so hard to come to terms with. Did Heavenly Father really allow it to happen just so her loved ones could experience lifelong heartache and hurt – such events some family members never get over.

In many ways I am a control freak. For that reason I struggle with not being able to control the circumstances that will keep my family safe, free from harm. Am I normal in my worries, or do most people just not let themselves think about the horrible possibilities I worry about on a daily basis? Do I need therapy – sometimes I wonder?

For now, I guess I’ll just worry about my own recovery. I just got back from Urgent Care. I have some sort of skin infection on my thigh– they have no idea what it is. Without going into too much detail, a large area on my right thigh is so inflamed that it is twice as big as the other side – may be an infection as a result of getting eaten by something during the night a couple days ago. In any case, they gave me a huge shot of antibiotics – ouch, and a shot of steroids and I’ll continue on a course of both for 10 days and just hope it improves.

As for the TV, I think I’ll stick to thoughtless, So You Think you Can Dance type programs and keep myself even busier so that I don’t have time to worry about any uncertainties.

Weekend at the Jersey Shore

2008-07-14T21:23:00.000-04:00

So I've been really itchin' for the beach. I mean, I've heard the familiar sounds of those mighty rolling waves in my dreams. I close my eyes and can literally smell the ocean water and can feel the sand in my toes and the mist of the salty air on my face. Ahhhhh

By this time every year, we have usually visited the Outer Banks a number of times. Our only planned beach trip this year isn't until August and I just didn't realize how much I would physically crave it.

We have great friends who own a house near Cape May. They have invited us a number of times and somehow it just never worked out on our end. But this time, I was determined to find a way. So thankful that we did - we just spent such an enjoyable weekend - so enjoyable in fact, that the kids both left in tears and cried most of the 4 hour trip home. They cried for the beach, they cried for boardwalk, they cried for their dear friends and I think they were crying for the zillion hours of lost sleep after that fun filled weekend. We only spent a couple of days there with our friends, but we crammed a whole lot of fun into those days and we made memories that I will treasure forever. I feel so grateful for my friendship with Krista and her family. Our kids have known each other since they were babies and I hope that our friendship will continue on forever.

the gang

Julian, Andrew, Alexandra, Olivia

just diggin'

mom with the gals

we brought the same outfits coincidentally, but the kids loved pretending to be twins

daddy with the tired boys - they both fell asleep at the restaurant on top of their dinner

lovey dovey kiddos

gorgeous Krista with moi

first year of boogie boarding

Brian spent the entire morning running along the beach with each of the kids

Beach babes - okay, not exactly :)

Spontaneously chopped

2008-07-09T22:36:00.000-04:00

So I chopped my hair today. I had no intention of doing it - I was just in one of those moods when I got to the salon. I came home and Alexandra about broke into tears. I don't think it is that drastic, but apparently she felt otherwise. I do recollect my mom cutting her hair when I was a kid - she went from beautiful long hair one day to a bob cut with bangs. I believe I cried for two days. Guess not all children do so well with change. David's comment was that "it looks different". Hmmm, not much better.

Anyway, my girlfriends were quite a bit kinder and even put flowers in my hair and made me pose for a picture. So lucky to have girlfriends :) Thank you Krista!

The Joys of unemployment

2008-07-03T18:24:00.001-04:00

It has been such a joy for our family having David home this Summer. While of course it is not so exciting that he doesn't have a job at the moment, we sure are enjoying his company. He spends most of his mornings upstairs searching, researching and networking, and then in the afternoons, he often surprises us with his ideas for little afternoon adventures. We are discovering all sorts of places we didn't even know existed around here. The kids are really getting spoiled having him home. I have to admit that I am too.

I had a really rough week last week. I won't go into any detail about what happened, but the situation left me utterly depressed. The unfortunate series of events caused me to reflect on who I am and who I've become and the kind of mom that I am and want to be. I have my moods and moments every now and then, but after this, I was really feeling alone and sad. I walked around in a daze for several days without a smile and my poor kiddos and hubby had to suffer through it. But throughout the entire ordeal, my husband was so supportive and kind. Whether he is secretly judging my stupidity at times I have to wonder, but he never lets me know. He is so good at biting his tongue and just lets me know that everything will be okay. He puts up with so much from me and rarely raises his voice even when I deserve a good lashing. I hope I can learn from his humble example.

Going Back in Time

2008-06-23T22:03:00.000-04:00

Alexandra in front of the Indian Village.

Kids trying on armor at a British settlement in Jamestown.

Kids in front of Grandmama's house.

Sitting with Thomas Jefferson in Williamsburg.

Cooling off with popsicles....

Grandmama, Granddaddy, and Alex at MayMount Park.

Our carriage ride in Williamsburg.

We decided to give the kids a little history lesson last week and took them on a tour of some of Virginia's great historical sites.

Our adventures began in Jamestown. We toured Indian villages, original British settlements, and the first ships to come to America. Happily for us, it wasn't as hot as it could have been, but even the heat we experienced made it easier to imagine how terribly uncomfortable it would have been to travel with so many other people on those ships. How amazing it was to be there, knowing that we stood where our nation's history really began. The kids (especially Alexandra) really enjoyed the entire experience. When asked what her favorite part was, she said she couldn't pick just one, because she really loved the whole thing. Andrew's favorite part was picking out a souvenir - no surprise since David mentioned he might get one as we arrived, and we heard about it on each stop on our journey from that moment on.... "is it time for me to get my souvenir yet?", "is this the souvenir shop?" "wow, this is cool, do you think they have these at the souvenir shop?"

We spent the next day with my wonderful parents walking/climbing around a beautiful park near their home and swimming to cool off in the afternoon. We took off for Williamsburg the following morning. Alexandra had been reminding us for months that we failed to take a carriage ride the last time we were there, so we did win points this time for scheduling a short ride. The carriage toted us around the cobblestones streets while our driver pointed out some of the historical highlights of this charming town. I went to highschool near Williamsburg and it is so exciting to be able to share some of what I loved in my youth, with my own children now. Our day in Williamsburg was short but perfect for us. We saw just enough to have the kids wanting to return for more (Alexandra anyway). Andrew was still more excited to see the souvenir shop than any of the other attractions!

Thoughts on Age

2008-06-13T18:17:00.000-04:00

This is how you know you are getting older...... I went to the dermatologist last week for a routine skin screening and while thankfully, she told me that my skin looks to be in pretty good condition considering how much time I have spent in the SUN, she did want to let me know how restylane would improve the wrinkles that are creeping around my smile. Uhh, wow! Do I need it already?

Alexandra Weekend

2008-06-01T09:58:00.000-04:00

Alexandra and I shared a special mommy daughter weekend together. David and Andrew were still around, but the two of us had some special activities planned together. We joined some of our favorite friends (the S girls) to see Riverdance at an outdoor theater near our home. Alexandra and Elena have been friends since birth and it is always a special treat when they get together. They are both so sweet and adore one another so the mommies also enjoy watching this special little bond the two share.

Unfortunately, we had to brave the elements on our way to the theater. We walked quite a ways from the car to the entrance, without an umbrella, in one of the worst Thunderstorms I have ever seen. All the kids(I mean everybody's kids) were crying and we were running because the lightning was striking so close to us. This theater was actually struck by lightning several years ago and burned down so a few people were commenting around us that lightning doesn't usually strike the same place twice, but it was definitely close. Each time it hit there were shrieks and loud cries. Quite a scene.

So we finally made it sopping wet to the theater box office only to find out there was a mistake with our tickets and some tickets were on the lawn while others were in the covered loge (where we thought they would all be). We waited in a partially covered corner, while my girlfriend spent 20 minutes explaining and re-explaining the predicament to the managers. "We bought these all together in one transaction online and we would have never purchased 5 tickets together in different spots - This is your mistake", etc etc. The manager finally relented and lucky for us, they moved us to the orchestra center and we had amazingly perfect covered seats.

The show was phenomenal. I love Riverdance and Alexandra was in heaven. She took an Irish dancing class last year because she had seen a condensed performance of Riverdance at Busch Gardens and fell in love there. I really need to go to Ireland one of these days. I'm not a big fan of Mutten and potatoes, but the music moves me. It really does. And the ambiance was amazing - rain coming down all around us with a slight breeze - it could not have been more perfect.

Alexandra was disappointed when it was over, but we came home and began work on our end of the year teacher projects. Each Kindergarten class is an animal at school for their first year and Alexandra and her classmates are the HoneyBears. The beads I ordered weren't as bright as I was hoping, but I think these came out quite cute nevertheless!

Such a great weekend!

Waterfall in the Cul De Sac

2008-05-30T08:08:00.001-04:00

We will hopefully do a lot of fun things this Summer, but I bet the kids will remember this as one of their favorites(and we didn't even have to lift a finger). Due to the abundance of rain we have had recently, the city opened all the fire hydrants in our neighborhood to run a clean cycle of water. David walked Andrew and his friends down the street to play in the puddles from a nearby hydrant until we realized that the truck was on it's way to our cul de sac. What fun! When the worker realized that the entire neighborhood of kiddos was coming out to play, he put on an attachment that made the water shoot up like a waterfall and let the water run for 25minutes. You've never heard such screams of delight and pure satisfaction. They all loved it!

Fun Weekend

2008-05-26T20:20:00.001-04:00

Rather than wallowing in self pity over our recent bad news, we decided to put it out of our mind for a bit and enjoy the weekend together. And we had a superb weekend - one of those somewhat rarer occasions where the kids behaved perfectly pretty much the whole time- getting along with one another, thanking us profusely for each adventure we embarked on, and letting us know every day that each day was their best day ever.

In a nutshell, We visited several parks where to Alexandra's delight, we found these charming fairy houses. We spent quite a long time looking over each nook and cranny trying to figure out where each fairy sleeps and how each little house was made. So cute! We ate at two of our favorite restaurants and we took a little pirate cruise along the Potomac where Alexandra was asked to be the pirates's first mate. The kids loved it. They were each given eye patches and a bag of loot and neither has let it out of their sight. So it is Monday evening now and we are back to real life. Alexandra goes back to school tomorrow and David will begin his hunt for a new job!

Not So Fun News

2008-05-22T18:28:00.000-04:00

So just last week, I was commenting to my husband that things were just too good for me right now. "I just know something is going to happen very soon, because I'm very content with everything in my life at the moment", I told him.

So, David walked in from work a bit early today and told me that he and his entire department had been laid off. Ughhh! They had some major funding coming in, everyone assumed it was a sure thing, but at the last moment, both companies withdrew. So in a board meeting yesterday, the board decided they had to eliminate his entire department (about 50 people)leaving the company with only about 60 others. This was completely unexpected and people were upset and crying and I guess I'm lucky that David is the way he is. Being the supportive wife that I am, I immediately burst into tears (okay, so I'll be supportive after it has a couple of hours to sink in). David, on the other hand, immediately started listing all the ways that this is a blessing. In some ways, I'm sure he is being strong for my weak soul, but he really is the most optimistic guy - it is amazing. He said he was going to enjoy the weekend and then he'll begin looking and networking on Tuesday. My husband is very intelligent, and, in my opinion, can have a conversation about any subject under the sun. So I know he'll find something - it's just such a bad economic time to be out of a job. I just hope we find something sooner than later. Anway, he said to me a few moments ago, "Tatyana, you said that there was going to be some sort of trial and things always work out in the end". Well Said! You can still keep us in your prayers though :)

P.S I Love You

2008-05-10T15:05:00.000-04:00

It’s a known fact to my friends and family, that I absolutely love, love, love movies – especially, sappy romantic flicks. I think it is quite simply because I am a “dreamer” and movies transport me to a different time, maybe even transform me into a different person for a couple of hours --- whatever they do, I love the feeling.

So in honor of my Birthday (yes, I insist on celebrating the entire week) and Mother’s Day, David picked out two “girly” movies for the weekend. This is a big deal since he really does not enjoy watching these types of movies.

The movie last night was “P.S I Love You”. If you haven’t seen it and are planning to, you may not want to read on, but I think most of what I am about to write was already revealed in the trailers and previews anyway. All in all, it wasn’t a great movie I suppose, and parts seemed to move rather slowly, but after it was over, I decided that I really enjoyed it anyhow. Here’s why….

Holly, the main character, is suffering the loss of her beloved Irish husband to a brain tumor. She spends much of the movie following orders given to her via letters that he’s left her. While to many in her circle, his actions seem selfish, -- they feel this is making it absolutely impossible for Holly to move on, it turns out he is doing it out of pure love –Jerry(the Irish husband) knows his Holly. And, he knows that for her to move on, she must find her old self again – the one he fell in love with all those years ago in Ireland – the adventurous traveler who was uncertain but so excited about the life in front of her. Near the end, he sends her to Ireland and she relives those important memories about their meeting and ahhhh, it was gorgeous. What is not romantic about meeting an incredibly hot Irishman in the countryside in Ireland and deciding destiny has brought you together and sharing the perfect first kiss? Love it!

So while the movie was lacking in many areas, it did make me remember the promises I made to myself so many years ago, one being that I would let nothing prevent me from traveling the world and enjoying the Irish countryside… and the Swiss Alps, and …. Tuscany…. and… the list goes on and on… – Other promises included have 4 or 5 children by this time, and working for a non-profit organization, so you can see I’m a bit behind in fulfilling some promises…..

2008-05-08T20:18:00.000-04:00

So all the boys in the neighborhood know that David is great on a skateboard. He doesn't ride his board often these days, but if he feels the need, as happens on occasion, and flies down the driveway into the cul de sac, it is not uncommon for some of the neighbor boys to run for their skateboards and follow him around like a puppy, asking for pointers and showing their tricks too. So these pictures are of my cute little guy trying to be "just like his daddy". I've written before about how much Andrew adores his daddy, and right now more than ever it seems. While visiting my parents last week, for example, he requested that I stay home while he went to the park with David. "I still love you mom, but do you mind not going?" Uhhh, my heart about fell to my feet - could his complete devotion to his dear mom be fading? In any case, he performed all sorts of tricks yesterday, and told me how much like daddy he did each one. I can't say that I'm a huge skateboard fan, but how can I not appreciate how much my son loves his dad.

Today is my actual birthday and I'd feel ungrateful if I didn't mention how spoiled I was today with flowers and sweets of every kind. One sweet girlfriend (thanks Kory) even snatched my kids for a few hours so I could spend some time by myself. I ended up at Barnes and Nobles picking out Summer workbooks for the kids, but even that was a pleasure since I was doing it BY MYSELF. How nice it is sometimes to just be all alone. It was a perfect gift. So minus the rain, it was a good day. The only bad news is that I now feel like I'm going to have to run for several hours a day just to work off all these extra goodies. Thanks guys!

27 Again....

2008-05-04T19:50:00.000-04:00

So I’m turning 27 again this week. I can’t believe it. A few of my peeps took me out to celebrate last week. (I’ll add the picture as soon as I download it) We had a great night out -- I always look forward to finding out what everyone is up to and catching up on the “gossip” around the neighborhood. Rumor has it, that we have all these “Swinger” cul de sacs around our neighborhood. Can you even imagine? I’ve heard about it before, didn’t really believe it, but the gals swear it is true. Such a strange concept especially in such a young neighborhood filled with small child families. Truthfully, I cannot even fathom it. Not sure how marriages can survive such things – Do they?

As for the photos, Alexandra took the first two pictures of me before we went out. I realize that I look quite concerned in the photos – maybe I still wasn’t sure what I was going to wear out? Such a dilemma…. I wore the same style top the next day when we went out with my parents and my dad asked if I had “something to share”. I guess this style really makes me look like I’m expecting – Oh well, I might as well stick my hands across my belly and play along 

We spent the weekend with my folks to celebrate my upcoming Birthday. I love visiting them, they know how to spoil me. My mom always has a supply of yummy food on hand (a stash of Belgian chocolates is always pointed out upon arrival) and they’ve usually rented me a couple of movies because they know how much I love to watch movies after the kids go to bed. We also always go shopping somewhere and I was only imagining all the places we were going to go. Yes, shopping does excite me sometimes – most times. David even took off Friday so that we could make a long weekend.

Unfortunately, Alexandra came down with a fever and horrible cough on Saturday, so I spent most of the trip napping next to her on the couch. It was a gorgeous day on Saturday, and Andrew and David spent the day outside with my parents and brother and his wife. I felt a little sorry for myself I guess and puttered around and pouted a bit, because I had envisioned such a different weekend for myself, but I’m over it and grateful that Alexandra is already feeling better. We did finish the weekend with a delicious barbecue and a super duper ice cream cake. I indulged in the biggest piece EVER. So not too bad I guess except that I will be spending the next few days trying to work the ice cream off.

Am I really 4 Today?

2008-04-06T13:57:00.000-04:00

So what more can I say about my little guy? I 100% adore this kid. He came out screaming and continued crying for the first 10 months of his life rarely stopping to sleep, but boy did those long days and nights make me love the little cutie even more. While I thoroughly enjoy each new day as Andrew grows and matures, I cherish these moments right now more than ever -- where I'm smothered with angelic kisses, or am laughing uncontrollably at his silly-ness when trying to put him to bed, or am serenaded by his own incredibly sweet lyrics to songs. It is during these tender moments that I think to myself.....Will he forget how much he once loved me? I can only hope that he'll keep just a few of these memories that I will forever hold so dear to my heart. There really aren't words to describe how much love I feel for that energetic bundle of joy!

Over the last few weeks, I've seen some big changes in Andrew. He still has a very difficult time sitting still for even a moment and even eats dinner hopping next to the table. But where just a few weeks ago, he was still worrying about growing up and leaving mommy's side, he is now eager to try new things. When I used to ask him if he wanted to do activities like Karate or Little Gym, he immediately responded "Only if you do it with me". When we'd talk about going to school, he'd say "but I don't really want to go to school." But something has changed - maybe turning 4 meant something important to him, b/c when I mentioned beginning an activity a few weeks ago, he said "okay - sure". I immediately signed him up for swimming and soccer and his attitude and participation has far exceeded my expectations. Not only does he ask daily when his next class is, but his swim coach tells me that he is keeps them in stitches and talks non-stop. On Wednesday one of the coaches came out and said "you know how there are just those kids that are more entertaining... well, he is one of those". I'm so happy and so proud of him. And I'm so thankful that I can be a mommy to such a wonderful little boy. Happy Birthday Andrew!

Lego Star Wars Training

2008-04-06T13:13:00.000-04:00

So on Friday, we had Andrew's 4 year birthday party. For years, I have been planning these very elaborate parties for Alexandra, but until this year... I've been a bit apprehensive to do the same for my little guy. Last year, we just stuck a big moon bounce in the front yard, played a couple outdoor games, shared cupcakes and popsicles and called it a day. Not only has he never showed any interest in having a big party, but the relationships amongst "girl friends" and boy friends" is so different at this age. In my experience, the little girls are much more excited to play together and develop the emotional ties that don't seem to come until later for the little boys.

So this was the year for Andrew. He wasn't sure what to expect but he is really into Star Wars (Lego Star Wars that is on the Wii) and was very excited about all the themed party items we weekly, went in search for. He still only has two friends that he insists on doing everything with, but we invited several of the cul de sac boys as well (all are the same age). The boys came for Star Wars Jedi training and after each little task (game) they participated in, they were awarded a Star Wars item to take home. Since I only invited five boys, I was able to splurge a little bit and the boys went home with Jedi Robes, light sabers, and Star Wars backpacks filled with themed goodies. In the finale, as the boys were eating their ice cream cupcakes, each guest received a Honorary Jedi Certificate for having passed their training.

I suppose it went well. David helped me make some softer light sabers out of electrical foam and electrical tape for one balloon game and that was probably the biggest hit, since even though most of the boys don't actually converse with one another, they have no problem wacking each other over the head with their weapons. The party was the shortest I've ever had - about 50 minutes total which was long enough for all of us(especially me). A small success I guess, but I will still attempt to convince both kids to hold the party somewhere else next year :)

My Fear of Medicine

2008-04-01T21:32:00.001-04:00

So why am I so scared of medicine? I've been trying to analyze the root of my fear over the last several days. Is it because you hear that a drug is a miracle for something only to find out a few years later that it causes something else. When my mom was pregnant with her 3rd baby, she lost the baby during the 6th month due to a "safe" IUD that ended up getting wrapped around the baby's neck in the womb. It was taken off the market a short time later. My neighbor was on drug for some anxiety issues in college and ended up losing all of his hair (body and head). It has never grown back. I guess that isn't as bad as the fact that it has now been linked to even more life threatening problems.

So does my fear stem from all the stories I hear like that -- the fear that a 5 year study can't really take into account the effect the medicine can have on so many different bodies. Or is it just growing up with a mother and grandmother who love natural alternatives and vitamins but are so wary of medicine. My grandmother was diagnosed with both breast cancer and uterine cancer but refused chemo because she believed the chemo would kill her faster than the cancer would. She is now 90 years old and still kickin'. I'm not saying all medicine is bad. We live as long as we do today thanks to all the amazing medical advances. And I know that some diseases simply require medicine. There is no way around it. But I'd say the majority of doctors these days are so aggressive and so quick to offer a prescribed (medicine) solution that I wonder how much they really know about the drugs themselves. Look at antibiotics - this is a wonder drug - but so readily and overly prescribed that it now not helping many people as it should. They are resistent to it's benefits.

When Alexandra was 2, she had gastro issues that required us to put her on a medicine that still has had no published testing on children. We went to a well-known gastro initially who just prescribed more and more and more. I called the doctor over and over explaining how Alexandra was lethargic and listless and lost coloring, etc. My daughter was sicker than I have ever seen her, unable to get off the couch and I believe now she had toxic poisening from the overdose of this medicine. I quickly switched doctors who confirmed my fear and told me that she did not need nearly the amount that she was being given. I was angry and horrified. I'm sad to say that she is still on this medicine (although only 1/4 tsp compared to multiple tablespoons she was taking at one time). And I'm keeping my fingers crossed, that just as the label says that this med does not enter the bloodstream, that she will not suffer consequences later on in her life for decisions that were made for her.

That brings me to my newest and maybe not very backed up fear of Singulair. Asthma is new for us. Andrew suffered several scarey attacks last Spring where we had to rush him to the doctor for shots of steroids and breathing treatments. He was also simply a different child last Spring. He had so little energy and was constantly requesting that he be held. He was tired all the time. Turns out that it was most likely his allergies or asthma. As we started regular nebulizer treatments, he began to improve and I was overjoyed when he started to regain his spunk and energy. But we definitely had a few scares and so we knew that we wanted to be more ready this year and are hoping still, to alleviate some of his suffering.

We started him on Singulair and Zyrtec in February. Although I absolutely noticed the nightmares immediately, he seems to be okay on the Singulair otherwise. But all over our news, they are playing and replaying the report that they are going to investigate whether or not Singulair can be linked to suicide. It seems that there were only a couple reported cases claiming the connection out of the 30 million prescribed users, but of course now all sorts of people are coming out saying "so that's why Johnny was so moody and emotional while he was on it and had those horrible stomach aches" Who knows if this was really causing Johnny's problems - but it is still nerve racking when you read it. They were already required to add "suicidal thoughts" to their list of side effects last year, but alarmingly, doctors are saying they were never notified of this addition. I have friends that use it and swear by it and I'm thankful to have their success to help me when I'm trying to make this decision. But I'm still a bit nervous. My kids can't make these decisions. I'm making them for my children and I feel such a responsibility tonight and frankly, I have a stomach ache myself.

I'm meeting with the allergist on Thursday. Hopefully my PMS will be over by then so I will be able to reason and think more realistically. logically(can't find the right word here) :)

And Today She is 6

2008-03-30T09:03:00.000-04:00

I can barely believe she is turning 6. It was on this day (it was Easter) after 30 some hours of labor, that Alexandra Lauren was born into the world. A mother could not have been more excited. Being a Mom was all I ever dreamed about growing up. I could not wait.

She proved to be quite the difficult baby, made me reconsider a few times why I had looked so forward to this role -- took only a couple 20 minute naps during the day and due to her reflux, I had her sleep sideways in the crook of my arm until she was 1. She stopped napping all together shortly after her first birthday. She hated car seats, bouncy seats, swings and cried every night on cue from 7:55 until 1 A.M. She was worth every minute. What Joy she has brought into my life.

It seems just yesterday that she was still the little girl that had to carry a balloon everywhere. She wasn't attached to a stuff animal, but was enamoured with balloons -- so much so, that we have oodles of photos of Alexandra even sleeping with a balloon string in hand.

In 6 years, I have seen so many changes in my little girl. She has become quite the social butterfly and when I meet an adult that knows her, that is usually the first thing they will tell me. Initially I found these comments surprising because when Alexandra was younger, she was very shy and when I took her anywhere with me and people would wave and say hello to her, she would break into tears and turn away. I assumed that she would always be my quiet little girl. But she is very much the opposite now. Not that I mind. We get a kick out of her very dramatic explanations for everything. She is all about drama and has told me that she is going to be an actress or a Rock Star. I don't doubt it.

What I love most though, is the loving spirit that my daughter possesses. Even as a very young toddler, she would cry if a friend got hurt. She didn't like to see anyone suffer. She is just as tender today. She really cares about other people and is so nurturing and loving. She is such a good big sister and the best daughter any mom could hope for. I'm so proud to call her mine. She has so many talents and I know even more will be revealed throughout this upcoming year.

ALOHA

2008-03-29T22:32:00.001-04:00

So, I believe it was a success - even with a sour start this morning. Alexandra was dressed and ready for her birthday party to begin at 6:45 A.M. She started the day so excited, but became more and more frustrated as the minutes just didn't seem to pass quickly enough. She was about in tears by the time 11 O'clock rolled around. And so was I. I have this thing with birthday parties. If truth be told, I'd rather have them somewhere else - it is just so much easier and less expensive quite honestly. Every year I try to convince my kids of some cool place that they could/should have their party. And every year, they come back and tell me that they'd like it at home. "Really? Are you sure?" "Yeah, mom and make sure you make it the best birthday party EVER". Ahh, the pressure. I suppose you could throw together something simple. I know a lot of moms that do and the kids have a good time all the same. But we tend to take birthday parties pretty seriously in our family and so preparations begin quite early.

I believe everyone had a good time today. What I didn't take into account while planning, is the mood swings of 5 and 6 year old girls. My Oh My. I'd say almost every single girl minus maybe one or two, had her moment today and each had to be patted and consoled before rejoining the festivities. Luckily, Alexandra had her moments before the party started so she was the perfect little hostess today. All in all... a fun day! But such a relief that we are done until Andrew's Star Wars party next week!

Hike Anyone?

2008-03-23T16:43:00.000-04:00

We spent a wonderful Easter vacation with my family. We lucked out, because we had a 70 degree day on Saturday and took full advantage of it, spending most of the time outdoors. My parents have a beautiful home with quite a bit of land behind and around them, so the kids love "exploring" at Grandmama and Granddaddy's. I went out in the morning to do a few last minute Easter Bunny errands and upon my return, found the entire front yard adorned with little signs -- 10 cents for a hike, 10 cents for a big wheel ride, 10 cents for blowing bubbles and 10 cents for a game hosted by Andrew. Alexandra is lucky to have some generous relatives and her little 10 cent bucket filled up quickly.

I paid my 10 cents to go on the hike with the kids and thanks to having already been on a similar adventure with Granddaddy earlier in the morning, Alexandra proved to be an excellent tour guide, pointing out all kinds of highlights -- She showed us the little creek that runs behind their home, the tulip trees that are almost in full floom, told us the name of several bushes and trees. "See these bushes, they will be flaming red in a few weeks". She also had me partially climb a tree for our adventure so she could take a picture - unfortunately, she didn't capture the bottom, but I really am standing part way up the tree -- okay, not that far, but I really was off the ground.

We returned to the house just in time for an Easter Egg Hunt in the front yard and egg decorating on the back porch. We were joined by my brother and his darling wife (they just found out they are having a boy), my grandmother, and my parents. My kids adore my older brother and his wife, so they were ecstatic to get to spend some time with them. We ended the day with a delicious mom-made dinner and lots of laughs from Dad. We can always count on him for that. My kids are so very lucky to have such a fun and funny Granddaddy! I'm lucky to have such wonderful parents!

A Couple of Saturday Pics

2008-03-15T22:10:00.000-04:00

We ran a bunch of errands today and then just relaxed a bit at home. We all started our allergy medicine this week. The medicine, together with the time change last week, has really taken a toll on us this year. The kids have been cranky and David and I have been exhausted for some reason. Thus, we were not extremely active today. So, as the day was coming to an end, unsatisfied that nothing overly exciting took place today, Alexandra asked me what I would really love to do this evening. I told her I'd really like to dress her up and take a couple of pictures. She agreed as long as she could take pictures of me tomorrow and have two slices of bread with butter and ice cream with chocolate chips. Deal! I may add a couple of pics that she takes tomorrow.

Liar, Liar - What if my pants were on fire?

2008-03-11T20:22:00.000-04:00

I'm in a grouchy mood at the moment. I feel guilty and sad and bothered. I did something tonight I'm most definitely not proud of. Let me attempt to explain.

There is nothing that makes me as uncomfortable as someone standing outside my door asking for money. It's become a sort of phobia for me I think. When the doorbell rings and I walk up to the door and see a clipboard through the window, I start to panic. Seriously.... I start sweating and my mind starts racing. I simply have trouble saying "no" to anyone asking me to buy or donate anything. Generally these days, I tell the person that they will have to return when my husband is home and then I make sure that we are upstairs bathing or putting the kids to bed for most of the evening just to avoid the visit a second time. I know it sounds pathetic... but....

In our little neighborhood here, we are seriously bombarded by solicitors. We have door to door sales people requesting money for their one-of-a-kind cleaning products. There are lawn care, carpet care, pet care, & pest control companies weekly calling or stopping by to let me know why I need their services, school bands and athletic teams asking for money, big brother - big sister organizations hoping for a donation, handicapped basketball, baseball, kickball teams, heck, we even have kids from other cities that are bus-ed out here and dropped off and the kids knock doors selling magazine subscriptions in hopes of raising enough money for an earned trip. It's overwhelming and once I talk to any of them, I'm not very good at turning them down. But if I really responded to each request, we'd seriously be broke. I used to never say "no" to anyone. With time, I've learned that I must say "no" to some. So, I took a new stance and showed slight irritation when they would come to the door and then just suggested that they come back at another time.

Tonight was an unexpected visit from a Firefighter in our city. It is annual fund raising time and you know, along with the select few charities that I choose to donate to...that is one organization that I don't mind donating to. But I wasn't prepared for the knock and as I saw the clipboard, I broke out in the sweat and my mind started to race. He politely introducted himself and requested $50 for the Fire Department and I yelled back to David who responded "nah, not now". Okay, so here is the really bad part. I was so embarressed to decline at that point that I went on about our finances and I basically told an untruth. I closed the door and broke into tears. What in the heck is wrong with me. I seriously can be such an idiot. The worst part is that my kids were in my company when this whole event transpired this evening. How horrible! In an effort to boost my spirits, my sweet dad told me after I explained the entire scenario to him, that I told what is called a "social lie" - - a lie that is told to avoid hurting the other person's feelings. "While it is still not okay", he explained... "it will be okay".

While I'm still not comfortable with how I handled this situation tonight -- duh, obviously. I can say it will never happen again. You can't imagine the agony I'm feeling. Let's just hope the firefighters don't have us on their bad list now. I really do appreciate all that they do for us. Thank goodness tomorrow is a new day!

Girls Night Out

2008-03-06T08:12:00.001-05:00

We went out last night to celebrate Jessie's birthday. Unfortunately, I look about like I do when I get up in the morning, but everyone else looked pretty darn cute, so I'm posting it anyway. Sorry Jessie - I promise I wasn't really trying to hide you - you should have pushed me outta the way! :)

My Bad Turned Better

2008-02-25T09:09:00.000-05:00

So I missed am important deadline. Mini Boden was having their first ever monster contest. You were to create a colorful monster and the winner would have their monster put on an actual t-shirt by Boden. Alexandra had been working on this project for weeks. She created an array of monsters - one out of fabric and another with marker. They were ready to go except that she had such a difficult time deciding which monster she wanted to send in, that the project was put on hold and mistakenly placed in our black hole bowl. We have a big ceramic bowl on our island in the kitchen and most every out of place trinket and paper is thrown in there until the black hole bowl is finally overflowing and we sort through it. Such a sorting day occurred on Friday and when I saw the monster artwork Alexandra had worked so hard on, my heart sunk. I knew we had missed the deadline.

I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to tell her, so I came up with an alternative plan. Due to another ice storm, the kids were out of school on Friday and I sat her down and explained my mistake. Heartbroken for a moment, I quickly told her that we were going to create our own monster tee today (Friday). She was a bit skeptical, but as we started discussing just what kind of monster we'd put on there, Alexandra suggested that maybe she'd prefer an ice skater t-shirt instead. Ice Skating is her new love... So, I found an ice skater online - we cut her out and chose parts from some fabric scraps I had and wah la..... this is how she turned out. Okay, so you may not see her for sale at Mini Boden, but Alexandra loves her and wore the shirt the rest of the day Friday and on Saturday!

Family Night and Tag

2008-02-19T17:21:00.001-05:00

Alexandra was in charge of our family night last night. She is my party planner. I will be amazed if when she grows up, she isn't running something. She plans out every detail of an event and is planning a new party every day it seems, so she was definitely up to this challenge last night. She certainly gets an A+ for creativity. She hand made the game board and the game pieces. The rules were a bit confusing and seemed to change quite frequently during play, but we all had fun (except for Andrew who cried for most of our evening, b/c his Wii time was cut short). Most importantly though, she was very proud of her accomplishment and so was I.

Here are the rules! Now follow along carefully.

1. Someone throws out buttons and the person whose turn it is, grabs buttons and that is how many spaces on the board they move.

2. If you land on a smiley face, you take one of her hand drawn charade cards and act it out for the other players. (Alexandra might have to whisper in your ear what your exactly supposed to act out since that seems to change frequently as well).

3. Whoever guesses the acted out charade gets to go next.

4. If you land on one of the other circle filled spaces, you shoot a rubber band and then you get to pick out your own charade to act out.

5. oops, I've already forgotten what you do on the other spaces, but since it is ever changing - I'm sure it would be something different if I asked now.

Oh yeah, no winners or losers - "just family fun" in her words....

I also got TAGGED by my good friend Jessie.....

Since most of my peeps have already been tagged, I'll spare you details about my boring life, but let you in on the only possibly interesting one.

U- Unknown Fact about ME - I can squirt water out of my eyes... Seriously, I haven't done it for a few years, but I'm sure I still could....

No Sign of Spring...

2008-02-17T17:22:00.000-05:00

Alex and Andrew at the beach a couple of years ago....

I'm so antsy for Spring today. It is cold and grey outside and I'm rather tired of Winter. I love all four seasons, but sometimes Winter just seems to drag on too long. We've missed most of the big storms here this year, and have ended up with a couple inches of snow on only two or three occasions- enough to give the kids a delay or even a day off school in Virginia, but not enough to close us down for a week. Just being cold and dark with nothing wet to show for it gets old quickly. I remember when I was in highschool, we were out once for an entire week of a school. Anne of Green Gables was airing on PBS and I stayed up late every night watching it, keeping my fingers crossed that the late night news would announce just one more school cancellation so I could finish the series without a school (meaning homework) interruption. I was in Heaven. The Anne series had been one of my favorite book series (still is) and the PBS mini series was not a bit disappointing. Being out of school cuddled up in blankets, sipping hot cocoa on the couch with my mom, made my snowed in "Anne" experience that much sweeter.

For the last several weeks, I've been saying that I would like one big snowfall before the arrival of Spring, but I think I'm over that wish. I'm just ready for warm sunshine now. My mom grew up in Finland, where the sun only shines during certain months of the year. She said that when the sun does finally come out, everyone walks with their faces pointed up towards the sun and basks in the warmth every minute they can be out doors. I'm not sure I could make it in Finland. We've had a particularly unsunny last couple of weeks and I'm already getting down and discouraged. I guess it doesn't help that Alexandra is sick on the couch with a fever at the moment. I never do like it when my kids get sick. Thankfully, she doesn't seem to be too uncomfortable right now, and since Andrew is being entertained by Super Daddy whose been playing everything from Lincoln Logs to Star Wars today, I've had some time to catch up on a few things. I began preparations for Alexandra's 6 year birthday coming up next month and spent some time browsing beach rentals for our Summer trip. We have stayed in the same house for years in the Outer Banks, but we decided at the end of our stay last Summer, that we were going to try a new house this year. Now that the time has come, I've having second thoughts as to whether we want to do that. Not that the decision matters so much. I'm sure we'll have fun mo matter what.

My New Old Goal

2008-02-12T07:17:00.000-05:00

Many years ago (like 15+), when I was in the midst of a break-up with a boyfriend, my boyfriend's little sister gave me a compliment that really meant a lot to me at the time. She said "Tatyana, you know what I love about you"? I wasn't sure what kind of compliment I was waiting for here... was it how I laughed all the time or the way I wore my hair, or could it be my cooking maybe? I had made some pretty yummy desserts on more than one occasion. I wasn't sure. She continued, "In all the time that I have known you, I've never heard you talk negatively about someone else and that is really a nice thing". That wasn't something I had thought of, but it was a compliment and I made a commitment that I would continue this habit.

Okay, move forward many years now and you'd think that I'd only improve on qualities like this as I got older, right? But, sadly, as I was thinking back over my last 15 years, I realized that I have not. I think it some ways I've resorted back to junior high school in this area. I'm guilty of standing on our cul de sac corner and gossiping as much as anyone out there. Even worse, I have openly talked with other neighbors about how much a particular neighbor gets under my skin. Sometimes I will go out with friends and we will start talking about one person or another, but put in a disclaimer, that we aren't meaning to say anything negative, as if this disclaimer makes it somehow okay to continue talking about this person. I'm saddened by my lack of progress.

So last night, I wasn't doing particularly much of anything. The kids were in bed and there is really nothing worth watching on tv these days and I simply didn't feel like reading, so I did something I've never really done before. I blog hopped. Although I don't believe I will make a habit of it, it was quite entertaining. After several hours of blog hopping, I came across blogs of friends or acquaintances I hadn't been in contact with in ages. I had so much fun discovering who they married and how many kids they had and in what part of the country they ended up. While surveying one particular blog, I happened to come across an entry where the husband wrote about his wife on her birthday. He sneaked onto her blog and wrote his 10 favorite things about his wife. His top reason and the one that really impacted me was that he said.... in the 12 1/2 years that they had been married, he had never heard her say anything negative about anyone else. She always tried to look for the good in everyone. It was so sweet, but for a moment, my heart sank. My husband, and even worse, my children could not say the same thing.

What message am I sending to my children if they overhear me spreading rumors or talking openly about how a particular "friend" bugs me to no end. While expressing these grievances about other people somehow makes you bond with your friends in some strange way, it isn't worth the damage you are doing to yourself. Once you say one thing, it becomes very easy to say another until you do it without thinking. It certainly isn't worth the message you are sending to your little "sponges" who are soaking up everything their mommy and daddy do.

So, I'm done! I'm going to refind the Tatyana who politely listened back then, but didn't continue this type of negative talk. I will try to find the good in everyone.